Mansex: Hard and Rough

*Clears Throat* This is an exciting time for those of you who live in Hollow Bastion. There has been an announcement about the first Annual Gay Day Parade happening on Friday the 13th. (What a perfect date)

I'm pleased to announce that I will be organizing a Gang Bang float. Details are a bit sketchy, but some of you will be riding with me in that float.

I'm sure this will be a glorious day. LOTS OF GAY HEARTS FLOATS. *FOAM* MMMM GAY HEARTS.

Tomorrow is the day I will venture to Atlantica. Everyone is free to join me. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time there seeing as there are many dolphins to hump species of sealife residing there.

....

I have misplaced my Cheese.

Not happy.

Going to Dinner tomorrow at Ansem's. He better not be planning something. Like... plotting to steal my favorite coat with our little brother or poisoning the food with his toxic semen.

Charges have been cancelled. Though, if anyone wants to go to Atlantica with me, do let me know. I'm planning a business trip.

Ah, the real point. I am posting to announce:

THE THEME FOR THIS FRIDAY (SEPTEMBER 22ND)
Cosplay Night will have the theme of Mystic Creatures. This week I would appreciate everyone keeping it in the theme. I'm sure you have plenty of time to find the proper costume for the night.

....

....

I am still trying to figure out mine.

I have a lot to talk about. Needless to say, none of it is pleasant.

1 - WHERE THE HELL DID MY SPECIAL LIGHTSABREdildo GO?! I KNOW IT WAS IN IT'S PLACE WHEN I LEFT. YES. IT WAS. IT WAS IN THE GLASS DISPLAY CASE OVER MY BED ALONG WITH MY OTHER 500 ONE. I WANT TO KNOW WHO HAS IT. YOU BETTER GIVE IT BACK NOW OR I WILL FOREVER HAUNT YOU. I'LL SLIT YOUR THROAT. THERE WILL BE SOME SHIT GOING DOWN.

2 - My credit/debit card is not YOURS TO USE. NOBODY SHOULD BE PASSING AROUND THE DAMN THING. I just got my monthly statement, and there was a ridiculous charge... this charge was for 5,000,000,000 GODDAMN MUNNY. IF I HAD THAT MUCH MUNNY, I WOULD HAVE OBTAINED GAY HEARTS BY NOW.

YOU BASTARDS. I COULD OVERLOOK THE PHOENIX DOWN AND TAMPON CHARGES, BUT NOT THIS. HOW DARE YOU.

Of course, I will cancel the charge.

Do you want to know what it was for?

ATLANTICA

Yes, god damn Atlantica where those Mermaid's roam. Who the fuck in their right mind would want to buy that piece of shit?!

( I'm a very well-balanced person )

A reminder to everyone: Every Friday is Cosplay tonight, and this Friday is no exception. Make sure to wear your costumes to the Gang Bang. There is no theme this week, though, Star Wars related costumes are encouraged.

Riku, remember to pick up the Yoda costume tonight after work.

Leon, I expect you to dress up as well.

Also, I am delighted to announce the names of a few new drinks we'll soon be offering on our menu at the bar:

- CreamFilledDyx
- IXSpiral
- Sex on the IX
- Dyx on the Rocks
- Bloody Dyx

Hn. While watching Star Wars for the 69th time, I have come to the conclusion that I have a new favorite pairing: Jabba the Hutt x Yoda.

I searched online, but it doesn't seem there are any fan-fictions for these two, so I took it upon myself to write my own. So, here, I present, this masterpiece which shall be published and earn me 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 munny:

( Star Wars - My Blubbery Ecstasy )

[[ OOC: I'VE NEVER WATCHED STAR WARS IN MY LIFE. I JUST MADE UP A BUNCHA SHIT. XDDDDD ]]

I must make this brief; Star Wars will be coming on in 10 minutes.

Ahem. I wasn't very pleased this morning to come back to my room to find that several of my toys had gone missing. I do not know who took them Demyx, but my client was very unsatisfied that he was unable to get the works with the 'Tickle mah Elmo' Vibrator. I do hope this will be returned by tomorrow morning, otherwise I will be very displeased. This will not go unpunished, if I catch the culprit, that is.

I also found this in my e-mail inbox.

( Is someone trying to tell me something? )

We all know I look way better than that. *clears throat*

This... simply is a test post.

And if you say anything about my taste in music I will stab you in the eye with my purple dildo.